Summers can about crush me. I love my kids. I love everything that they do. (Except when they do the things I don't want them to do.) I love everything they are...but at the end of the day, I rejoice when they're all in bed and everyone's asleep and the house is quiet. It's not about having the TV to myself or about the books I can read without interruption...it's about having a few minutes where I don't have to help someone with a project or play a game or get someone a glass of water.
I find myself clarifying that I'm not complaining. I'll say, “I'm not complaining, but my life is very full.” Being a mom of four kids is a lot of work and it doesn't matter if it's during the school year or if it's summer or if it's Christmas vacation. I've just come to the realization that regardless of which season I am in...my life is overflowing.
Maybe I would get along better if I stopped looking for things to slow down and embrace the season I am in. I find myself saying, “I can’t wait until school is out.” Summer finally arrives and I find myself saying, “I can’t wait for swim team to be over.” Then by the end of summer… “I can’t wait until they go back to school.”
I get caught in the never ending cycle of hoping that my current season will end and my job will be complete, but like the laundry… it is never finished. There is a lie somewhere deep down in my belief system that the next season will be quiet and peaceful and I will spend hours sipping expensive drinks beside my kid-free pool. In reality, my summers continue to be full of cannon balls, hand-stand contests, buying junk food at the snack shack, and endless pool bag packing.
When my children are grown, I know I will miss having these lovely beings around me. Their humor (and their scent) is something I can count on. Their endless questions and desire for conversations can make my ears hurt…but I love the fullness they bring to my home, my life, and my family.
There are times I do feel depleted, but the sacrifices I make for my family make me a better me. I am not the woman I was 16 years ago when I naively assumed a baby would fall in line with the rest of my organized life. Today I will tell you that parenting has messed with every plan and every detail I had mapped out and my life is so much better for it.
I compare myself to a fine wine…better with age.
I am not going to pretend that I tiptoe through my day, rarely breaking a sweat. I work hard and sweat often. (GROSS!) One day it will all change and it will seem like these years went by so fast. So for now, I am going to make peace with the season I am in and look for opportunities to love and grow my children into the young woman and men God desires.
I am not complaining; my life is full. Yes, my life is wonderfully overflowing. ♥️
I am a girl passionately in love with Jesus, my husband, and my children. I am forever learning how to live a life completely undone for my God. This blog is about my journey and a few funny stories in between.