As a believer…I should be growing. Growing in my beliefs. Growing in my maturity. Growing in my character.
Why oh why do I still struggle with the same things over and over again?
For years, I believed I wasn’t growing because my struggles didn’t change. I was still insecure. I still got caught in conversations I shouldn’t. I was still battling anxiety. I was failing…or so I thought.
Then one day I realized I grew a little bolder.
Then one day I realized I didn’t say the first thing that popped in my head.
Then one day I realized I had peace that I didn’t understand.
It didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen because I was intentional. I was intentional with my eyes and what I looked at and read. I was intentional with my friendships and conversations and redirecting my words. I learned to keep my mouth shut. I was intentional about taking thoughts captive that were once allowed to roam free.
I failed. I tried again. I failed. I didn’t give up. Then one day, my struggle was not in control.
In the 6th grade my oldest son grew a foot. Everywhere we went that year people would tell me how tall Elliot was. Honestly, I didn’t notice because I was with him every day. When we went to the doctor for his yearly check-up they were amazed he didn’t have growing pains because he had grown so much in one year. He went up 4 pant sizes…and to me, he was still my baby. Okay, I admit he started bending over to hug me and I am 5’9”.
One day it all changed. I am not sure what triggered my awareness. I was the one buying his pants so I obviously knew he was growing; he just didn’t look bigger to me. One day he walked into the room at church and in a moment…my baby looked GINORMOUS.
This is the same in our Christian faith. If we choose to be intentional about the way we live, the words we speak, and the choices we make, we will definitely grow. In some areas we may see growth right away. In other areas, it may take time. Our growth depends on our willingness to stay the course and battle the storm.
(Hebrews 12:1) “… Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,”
One day we will realize our struggle is more a memory. We have moved on…to face bigger giants and new obstacles. Again, we press on.
I live with ME and take ME everywhere. Some days I am a hot mess and other days I rock. Thankfully, God knew this when he drew me to him. He knew I would fail and He wanted me anyway. Perfection has never been the goal for my life.
So whether you are limping or running…it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that you are moving forward and that you are willing to stay the course. Some days are harder than others, but the peace that comes with growth far outweighs the battle.
Whatever your struggle. Whatever your battle. Please know that God is cheering you on. His hope is for you to grow…not so He can love you more, but so you can have a fuller life.
I am a girl passionately in love with Jesus, my husband, and my children. I am forever learning how to live a life completely undone for my God. This blog is about my journey and a few funny stories in between.