I must start this post with a disclaimer. I have always loved a great women’s event. I don’t get away often, but when I do...I purpose to have a great time. I find myself re-energized by the insightful conversations and inspired by the spontaneous laughter that erupts from just being among great company.
This past weekend, I had plans to go to a women’s conference with one of my closest friends. A few months ago when we made these plans, I was really excited. But after a busy fall schedule - full of school and church activities...I found myself more tired than usual. Then Philip admitted he was disappointed I was going away because it was our first “marching-band-free” weekend, and the joy fizzled out of my plans.
Friday morning arrived. Philip and I decided to run at 5 AM. Yes, I know you are thinking we are crazy. I am still undecided how I feel about these early morning runs. If you drive by me and I look like I am dying...I am. Honk and wave because I may need an extra pick-me-up. A few hours later, I drove 3 hours in torrential rain. When I got to the event, I had to park a good distance away from the building. By the time I finally sat in my seat, I was grumpy, exhausted, cold, and wet.
Throughout the sessions Friday, I was at war with myself. It was hard to enter into worship. I was painfully uncomfortable and I couldn’t engage. Instead, my cold body became the focus. I was praying for God to touch my heart and to end my grumpiness but the joy never came. To clarify...I absolutely loved being with my friend and it had nothing to do with her. It was all me and I knew it.
That night we went to our room and I was wiped. Usually we laugh and joke until the wee hours of the morning. This time...my eyes closed by 11.
Saturday morning came crashing through. My phone alarm seemed like a distant dream. I opened my eyes and within a few minutes, I determined I was going to get every ounce of whatever God wanted to speak to me that day. I was going to engage in worship and write down every last word I felt pertained to my life.
During the sessions on Saturday, I was still uncomfortable. I was still sitting in the back, still crowded in, and the vent was still blowing cold air on me (I brought mittens) but I was determined and set to hear, engage, and participate.
It was a good day. My spirit was revived by the powerful messages and the intimate worship. I am not going to fabricate more than what was there...it wasn’t a "knock my socks off" kind of morning. Instead, it was a gentle whisper that He was forever with me and that I was to keep moving forward.
I didn’t need an earth shattering message. Honestly, I didn’t need a conference to feel closer to Jesus. His gentle whisper during times of cooperate worship draws me to Him in a way I can’t describe. It isn’t about how loud I sing or even if I sing at all...it is about being intentional and putting aside everything else, including my own comfort, to be a part of a gathering of lovely women completely focused on worshiping him.
Driving home from the conference, thankfully minus the rain, I decided to learn a new song that we will be playing in service next week, Hallelujah Here Below by, Elevation Worship. The second verse rocks my soul...
Ten thousand angels surround your throne
To bring you praise that will never cease
But hallelujah from here below
Is still Your favorite melody
Does it truly get any better than this? He is the creator of heaven and earth...and He still loves to hear my feeble attempts to worship Him. Kim Walker-Smith this weekend described worship like this, “Worship is God pouring His love out on us and us responding back.”
I am so thankful God pours His love out over me every day. His love was showering down on me just as much on Friday as it was on Saturday. The difference was...Saturday morning I was ready to respond back.
Living Completely Undone
I am a girl passionately in love with Jesus, my husband, and my children. I am forever learning how to live a life completely undone for my God. This blog is about my journey and a few funny stories in between.