This past weekend, I told my story to women who knew me less than 48 hours. I don't often tell people about my psych ward encounter because it seems so far removed from my current life. It is easy to forget how much God has done and how his miraculous hand has set me free. I originally posted this in 2013 at www.completelyundone.blogpost.com. I have updated the dates so it is current.
Jesus radically changed my life in November of 1988. I will never forget how he split the sea so I could walk to my freedom.
At 17, my life completely changed in a moment. I responded to an altar call at Victory Christian Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma. My mom had sent me away from my small town in Massachusetts, where I had stopped going to school and was not making many wise choices. It was nothing like I had planned. I didn't understand why I couldn't have it all. Why can't I smoke pot and skip school...and then somehow get it all together and go to college? Obviously the only person I had fooled was myself.
My choices didn't get me to college, but to an adolescent care unit in Tulsa (a.k.a. psych ward).
I left in August, a few weeks before what would have been my senior year. I left my friends and family, hopped on a plane, excited for a new adventure. Within 10 minutes of my arrival, they took my stuff (I mean, my cigarettes) and I got strip searched. I was flipping out and then I was told that I couldn't leave. It was a locked unit.
What? I told my mom I would go. I volunteered! Now you are telling me I CAN'T LEAVE!
I was so angry.
I was so mad.
Why was everyone else getting away with it? Why couldn't I go home? How did I get in this mess? Who are these people telling me what to do?
Looking back 29 years later....I realize the Lord saved me. I was headed down a road that would have taken everything from me. The Lord spoke to my mom's heart to take drastic steps in order to save my life. Somehow...I agreed.
For 3 months, I stewed in that place. I was so mad at the doctors, the nurses, the techs, the other teens... I talked about running away, tried to make wine in my room, hit a nurse, and made fun of the staff (I got really good at the last part).
Then, God got a hold of my heart. He wrecked me and opened my eyes to how lost I was without Him.
Luke 15:20 But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
When I was a long way off...He ran to me.
This road has not been easy, but it has been worth every step.
This road has not always been fun, but there has been much joy.
I have made a mess of many things, made many mistakes, and continue to be a sinner...but I have a Savior that loves me. He comforts me when I weep. He mends me when I break. He strengthens me when I am weak.
I am blessed in ways I never imagined. My husband is everything I could have hoped for. My children, all four, are a blessing from Him. My friends are life-giving and add so much to my life.
29 years ago, I was on a plane headed for Tulsa.
A few years ago, one of my friends called me looking for help for a friend. She asked me if I had been to Teen Challenge.
I answered, "No, my mom just sent me to the psych ward."
1 Corinthians 1:28-29 He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things- and the things that are not- to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.
31 Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.
I did eventually get to college. I got a degree in psych.
Living Completely Undone
I am a girl passionately in love with Jesus, my husband, and my children. I am forever learning how to live a life completely undone for my God. This blog is about my journey and a few funny stories in between.