Loving well is one of my daily goals. I fall short. I don't love like I should. I get frustrated. I get angry. Sounds, people, laundry all drive me nuts and yet...all are so important to who I am and who I am called to be. I threw the laundry in because that is what I do every day of my life...I throw in the laundry.
To love like Christ loves me, like he loves the church, like he loves the lost, like he loves the broken...it is an unobtainable goal, but yet one every believer should purpose to reach.
The day our oldest son was born, my life and my perspective of love completely changed. All the pain of delivering this little guy was almost more than I could bear. After hours of labor, he finally arrived, wrinkled and crying. Good grief! What an introduction...and I LOVED him. He had just caused me all kinds of pain and torment for hours...and I LOVED him and have LOVED him every day since.
The first year with Jennifer was very difficult for me. I didn't have any answers on how to fix the broken places of her little heart. I suddenly felt lost in my role as a mom. I was angry at her suffering, I was frustrated with her pain...and even on the most difficult days, I LOVED her.
I believe being a parent gives a window into the meaning of unconditional love. This was God's gift to me, the first hand understanding of what it meant to love without the fear of not being loved back and to love without the expectation of benefits. For the first time in my life, I was willing to love without the promise of return.
What God has shown me since my early days of motherhood is that I don't love everyone like this. On some days, I don't love my kids like this. Through betrayal and heartbreak, relationships and people have disappointed me. These disappointments have caused me to hide my heart and to place expectations of loyalty before being willing to love and be loved.
This isn't God's best for me. This isn't his plan for me. He not only commissioned me to love from the center of who I am, but he created me to give love and to receive it. My life will only have full meaning if I am willing to let people in and truly embrace those around me.
Love is a risk and sometimes hurts. As I have grown in my identity and confidence...I have discovered that it is well worth the risk.
Today in my 10th day of Prayer, I find myself challenged to love with this kind of fearless love, to love from the center of who I am, without the expectations of a return. Even in times of difficult circumstances, I know the Lord will give me the strength to love well.
Living Completely Undone
I am a girl passionately in love with Jesus, my husband, and my children. I am forever learning how to live a life completely undone for my God. This blog is about my journey and a few funny stories in between.