I worked all last week to schedule something at the last minute for an event. It took a lot of my time, many emails, and a few cold calls, but It finally fell into place Sunday afternoon.
I could breathe (and sleep).
Early Monday morning, I got an email telling me that our plans needed to change. Instantly, I got upset and I could feel my face begin to flush. Without thought, I began hacking out a reply. I wasn’t angry, I just didn’t have any more time to give.
I rationalized that it really wasn’t a big deal and that it would all work out. I was telling myself this as I was quickly creating my response. Philip told me that it was all going to work out, but I was anxious and I wanted to start immediately on the new plan.
Then I stopped… I needed to be sure that my response was not an emotional reaction to the circumstance or the time crunch I felt creeping up on my shoulders.
I needed to walk away. To pause.
I ended up sending a quick text to a friend who also was part of the planning. I asked her to handle the situation because I had Monday morning plans with a friend. She assured me that she was up to the task and encouraged me to enjoy my morning coffee.
After my friend left a few hours later, I sat back down at my computer. Everything was still on hold. There weren’t any new emails or texts to let me know the new agenda. I began to work again on my original email from the morning.
Again, I stopped.
You see, I am a doer, not a waiter.
I am a mover, not a lady-in-waiting.
I like a plan that comes together without cutting any corners.
But…sometimes in my need for tidy corners and straight lines, I lose sight of the bigger picture.
The bigger picture is not the event or the details or a perfectly executed plan. The bigger picture is the people who God has placed in my path and the relationships that will form as we work together towards a goal or a task.
Do you know what destroys the bigger picture in our lives?
Quick, reactionary responses that cut and wound the people we are called to serve.
We live in a time where quick responses abound, but a woman who loves from the center of who she is… learns the power of a pause.
The gift of waiting.
The wisdom of digesting.
The importance of praying.
The opposite of a pause is persistent progress. How many times have I pushed through when I should have waited? The emails, phone calls, and immediate conversations have often gained momentum in a direction I did not intend. Relationships have been destroyed in my quickness and women have been left with wounded hearts.
After years of saying, “I’m sorry, please forgive me.” to more women than I am willing to admit, I am learning at the front end of my reactions to focus on the end goal, the bigger picture.
My friend called later that afternoon when she had worked out the situation. She handled it perfectly and we were able to move forward. Nothing needed to change and no apologies needed said.
For another day, God allowed me to keep a teeny amount of my pride because he reminded me of the bigger picture right before he reminded me of my big mouth.
Living Completely Undone
I am a girl passionately in love with Jesus, my husband, and my children. I am forever learning how to live a life completely undone for my God. This blog is about my journey and a few funny stories in between.